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UofL STUDENT DISCOVERS VINYL, STARTS REFERRING TO EVERY ALBUM HE HEARS AS “HAUNTING”

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LOUISVILLE – 20 year old UofL student, Andrew Hall, was given a record player for his birthday last month from his father.  Hall immediately purchased a hand full of records from Half Price Books and described all of them to friends over the last few weeks as haunting.

“I finally got to listen to Bob Dylan’s “Blonde On Blonde” on wax,” said Hall.  “It’s truly a haunting record with tones of despair and piercing romance that washes over you.  I highly recommend it.”

Hall’s friends claim he started reading Pitchfork and AV Club recently and he’s becoming super annoying.

“Andrew’s already saying he ‘hates Pitchfork’,” said Hall’s friend Derick.  “He was partying with us at Mellow Mushroom just two months ago, now he won’t step foot in a place that doesn’t have analog music.  He actually told me he doesn’t like songs with choruses in them anymore the other night.  It’s all really dumb and I hate that I’m putting up with this shit.”

On Christmas morning, Hall was reportedly flooding Facebook and Instagram pleading with people to listen to Sufjan Steven’s Christmas record and asking friends to consider listening to FLAC instead of regular 128k music on Spotify.

“It’s actually kind of hilarious listening to Neil Young’s Harvest on devices like Spotify, I find myself cracking up when my friends put that stuff on,” said Hall.  “Yeah why don’t you watch Star Wars for the first time on your iPod nano too while you’re at it.  Which is actually a pretty haunting movie if you ever get a chance to see it.”

When asked what his favorite song is currently, Hall said he feels a bit like James Murphy from LCD Soundsystem in the song “Losing My Edge”, and that it encomposses his favorite track at the moment as well as his attitude towards music.

“Everyone can find special stuff now on the internet,” said Hall.  “It’s kind of depressing that no one thumbs through dusty albums at store next door to Moe’s Southwest Grill and Supercuts like I do anymore.”

At press time Hall was about to post a review of Neutral Milk Hotel’s album “In The Aeroplane Over The Sea”, describing it as “devastating”.

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SILVER DOLLAR OWNERS TO PLAY VINYL RECORD EXPLAINING THEIR HOT SAUCES ON REPEAT NEXT WEEKEND DURING BRUNCH

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