Tag Archives: heine brothers



HIGHLANDS – Coming back from a recent weekend of visiting friends in Brooklyn, 23 year old Heine Brother barista Julie Duggins is already scouring Craigslist apartments in New York and asking people on Facebook if they know of any places next to the L or R train hiring.  This time last year Duggins had visited friends in Omaha proclaiming she finally found a city that knows how to pour a beer even going as far as setting up several interviews which she never showed up for.

“I love just jumping on the L anytime I feel like it and riding it all the way till the tracks stop,” said Duggins.  “The vegan community’s pretty dope too, I’m not vegan but I could be.  I feel like its time for me to leave this shitty town.”

Duggins says she plans to run her plans by coworkers and friends for the next couple of weeks, maybe even carrying it through the rest of winter until Derby.

“I just want to move somewhere where people don’t know my bullshit,” said Duggins.  “It’s fun to start all over and convince people I’m someone new.”

Telling people about her desire for change has been a passion of Duggins since as far back as she can remember.

“Truth be told, I’m not goin anywhere,” said Duggins.  “If you wanna get really real, my shrink told me when I was a teenager I like to excite others around me, including myself, of drastic change that gives my life texture and mystery even if its pure fantasy.  It’s pretty neat.”

Some of Duggins friends say she does this to them at least once a year.

“She said she was moving to Portland a couple years ago after she discovered Modest Mouse,” said Duggins friend Amanda.  “It’s so annoying, she thinks we all forget when Derby rolls around.”

At press time Duggins changed her mind and is now planning on moving to Old Louisville for now until she can save money to move to Austin or Kauai.

Frank Thompson
Germantown Times
November 2014

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SCHNITZELBURG – Annette Simpson, a 34 year-old stay-at-home mother to two, left a 2-star Yelp review for the Schnitzelburg Heine Brothers after a bad experience she had there last week.

“I  had an intense day of driving the kids to school and needed some coffee,” said Simpson. “I ordered an iced medium latté with an extra shot, two pumps of this nut syrup and one pump of some syrup that had a cute African woman on the front holding a basket. I was looking forward to sitting in my car and sipping while I pinned stuff on Pinterest.”

After trying the drink, Simpson noticed it didn’t taste right.

“I was tasting tons of peanut butter I think, and a this like, strawberry-watermelon-lavender aroma, but it’s like they forgot something. There wasn’t a lot of foam. There definitely could have been more foam, it was bizarre.”

It took Simpson the entire drive home to figure out what was wrong with her latté.

“I was sitting in my driveway when I noticed, I meant to ask for soy milk,” said Simpson. “I think it was made with cows or goats milk.”

Later, Simpson took to Yelp to vent her frustrations with the coffee shop while her daughters napped.

“I shared a picture of the latté in my Yelp review and made sure to comment on the terrible customer service,” said Simpson.  “It was literally the worst latté I’ve ever had. I gave it two stars, but only because they have a drive-thru.”

Simpson clarified later that she usually makes her husband pick up a coffee that ‘tastes like ice cream’ on his way home from work.

“This all just ties into the whole Heine going corporate thing that people are saying around town,” said Simpson.  “It’s really kind of pathetic.”

At press time, Simpson’s Yelp review had been shared by several of her friends, all committing to not visiting Heine Brothers in the future.

Sandy Thompson
Germantown Times
September 2014


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