Category Archives: Uncategorized

Louisville city officials get together to bury a dead guy they found

Edward Lee to have name legally changed to “Yes Chef”

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Local celebrity chef Edward Lee announced on social media this week that he’s going to officially change his name to “Yes Chef”.  After years of toying with idea, he’s finally filing the necessary paperwork tomorrow morning at the court house.

“It’s time”, said Lee.  “I’m about to turn 47, I’ve made tons of aioli.  I don’t know any other city where this has gone on as long as it has.

The longtime Chef says people have been calling him all kind of names for as long as he can remember.

“I’m not just a guy that you’re “cool” with.” said Lee.  “When I ask you a question don’t just look at me and say, “yeah”.  Like wtf?  I know most people in Louisville just go about their days going to Speedway and Kroger.  I’m like hanging with real dudes a lot, and my shit is sick.”

The city has informed Edward Lee that it could take up to 6 weeks for the new name to be official.   Mr. Lee says it couldn’t happen sooner.

“If you see me in the street, just holler Yes Chef at me, I think it’s a respect thing”, said Lee.  “I hope the city is chill about it.  I hope people can be mature about the whole thing and know this is completely normal in every other major city.  It’s not a big deal.”

Lee will debut his new name at Bourbon & Beyond this summer and plans to also announce a new restaurant concept where he adds bourbon to dishes.

Achu + Blesu Clothing Line

Frank and I had a young man names Theo couch surf at our house this summer in Louisville from Sweden. He’s a very handsome man, with a huge heart and big hands. We showed him around and filled his head with imagination just as we did with our own kids when they were young. He has returned to Sweden very inspired and started designing a line of clothing called Achü + Blesü all centered on his visit to Louisville and everything he learned. Please check out his Facebook page and stop by Block Party Handmade Boutique to pick up one of his t-shirts.

xoxo – Sandy12189264_1695836747298142_1956019152703000020_o

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TIME TRAVELING SKATEBOARDER FROM 90’S TO HANG OUT AT PIZZA HUT TONIGHT

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HIGHLANDS – Yesterday around 3 pm a time traveling skateboarder, Rickey Thrash, emerged from a portal in an alley behind Comfy Cow.  The 15 year old man reportedly stood up slowly, dusting off his jean jacket as he looked curiously at a young girl riding by on a razor.   Thrash began skateboarding through the highlands completely distracted, bumping into people as one man allegedly shouted “hey watch it buddy”.

“I just wanna get a slice of dough,” said Thrash.  “Where the hell did all the Pizza Huts in this town skid off to?”

Thrash stumbled into a Pizza Hut express off of Preston Highway eventually, but said it was weak as hell.

“Where the hell is Golden Axe?”, Thrash asked the 24 year old manager taking his order.  “Listen old man, just get me a pizza with the works and I’ll get out of here.  This place is cashed.”

After his…

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FRANK & SANDY ARE RUNNING FOR 2014 GNADINGER PARK COUNSEL BOARD

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As some of you may know, Sandy and I are running for 2014 Gnadinger Park Counsel Board.  We promise the people of Germantown we will push hard to change the hours of Gnadinger Park to open an hour later.  You can buy a shirt to show your support below.  These are pre-orders!  All orders must be placed by Sunday, October 19th and we will begin shipping the week of the 27th.

-Frank

http://germantowntimes.bigcartel.com/

BREAKING : OBAMA APOLOGIZES, SAYS HIS ICE WATERBOARDING CHALLENGE WAS MISUNDERSTOOD

President Obama Makes A Statement

U.S. NEWS – Obama is in a heap of trouble as he nominated “ISIS Prisoners” to his Ice Waterboarding Challenge last night.  Internet commenters were quick to get online and display their disgust with the president, some even stating they would “unfollow” him on Facebook.

“I don’t know why people would think I was nominating our troops,” said Obama.  “I was nominating all of the ISIS troops we’re about to capture.   I should’ve just nominated the guys at Guantanamo.”

Some feel the challenge was in poor taste and had bad timing.

“I got really internet pissed,” said Facebook commenter, Shawn Mullins.  “I mean it’s 9/11, and here’s this challenge made by the president to waterboard the troops?  It’s unbelievable and someone needs to stand up for the country on Facebook.”

Even after learning of the misunderstanding, Mullins says he’s still internet pissed.

“It’s hard for me to stop it once it takes over me,” said Mullins.  “I’m still gonna make sure and show my wife how I stood up for the country on Facebook today, indeed.”

Sandy Thompson
Germantown Times
September 2014

LOCAL VEGAN CONSIDERS POSTING SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE ON FACEBOOK TOMORROW AFTERNOON

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CLIFTON – A lot has changed over the last seven years for Clifton resident, James Cunningham.  Back in 2007, James decided to stop eating meat and dairy and hasn’t looked back.  Over time, Cunningham admits he’s found it increasingly more difficult to refrain from being confrontational, even when he’s just watching a baseball game with friends.  Friends don’t call as often and invites to play poker rarely happen anymore.  Cunningham says he’s thought for years that his friends just couldn’t “handle the cold hard truth”, but now he’s considering that maybe it’s because he’s insufferable to be around.

“I used to have a lot of friends,” said Cunningham.  “Once I invited like 15 of my friends over to watch a pirated copy of the new Batman movie, but instead I put on Earthlings.  I got emotional if anyone tried to leave.  I thought it was really brave and commendable at the time, but now I’m kind of just feeling like I’ve been an asshole.”

Cunningham’s friend, Peter, says they were all supportive of him when he went vegan and some of them have become vegetarian over the years as well, but feel as if Cunningham’s fight for animal welfare has overshadowed the cause.

“He’s just pretty much a dick,” said Peter.  “If everyone in the world became vegan tomorrow, James would have to find something else to be contrary with people about.  Since he went vegan, it’s become his entire identity.  He once tried to get me to go watch a band cause the band members were vegan.  Fuck that.”

Cunningham is starting to actually hear his friends out and says he’s even considering posting something constructive on Facebook tomorrow afternoon.

“I guess I’ve never posted anything useful on my Facebook.  But I’m really thinking about changing that tomorrow,” said Cunningham.  “What good is my message if everyone connects my cause to negativity?  I’m starting to realize I’m actually not doing the animals any favors by arguing on the internet and picking fights at kroger.  I guess it just makes people not want to become vegan in fear of turning into a self righteous prick like me.  In a weird way, I’ve managed to somehow turn a noble purpose into something all about me. But I’m gonna share something really nice on Facebook tomorrow, you’ll see.”

At presstime Cunningham said he was thinking about posting a lighthearted article about Monsanto and their connection to ISIS.

Frank Thompson
Germantown Times
September 2014