GERMANTOWN – Just before calling it a night 42 year old Germantown man, Chris O’neill, hatefully scrolled through several people on Facebook he had hidden over the years. O’neill’s wife, Kaitlyn, says her husband mutters insults as he scrolls laying next to her, and she can even feel the bed move a little when he shakes his head.
“Why the fuck,” Neil grunted quietly before going back to scrolling.
O’neill doesn’t know why he does this to himself. The couple recently agreed that Chris should just get off of Facebook if it upsets him so much.
“It always happens right before bed,” said O’neill. “I don’t really ever think about it, but for some reason right before bed, I’ve gotta know what my conservative father is saying about global warming.”
O’neills doctor has told him to avoid stress at all cost as his blood pressure has been in the high numbers over the last few months.
“If he dies from this shit, I told him he’s gonna feel like an idiot,” said Kaitlyn. “He needs to pick his battles. Does it really matter if an old co-worker of his is still posting planking videos? He’s got better things to worry about.”
At press time O’neill was liking an article about global warming on The New York Times Facebook page, in hopes that it would show up in his fathers newsfeed.