CAHOOTS PATRONS CRASH POLICE PANCAKE BREAKFAST, E-CIGARETTES DRAWN

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HIGHLANDS – This morning a Louisville Metro Police Pancake breakfast was interrupted when a group of patrons from Cahoots bar came walking in.  The police say the 10 or so, white, heavily tattooed middle aged men in Black Flag shirts didn’t seem to pose any sort of threat, so they all just sat around eating pancakes half listening.

“I was on my second round of pancakes when they came barging in puffing on their e-cigarettes,” said police officer, Jason Kline.  “My buddy leaned in and asked me if we should just kick the shit out of them.  We both laughed and agreed we’d do it after the pancakes had digested.”

One of the cahoots patrons, Dennis Grainger, said it was his tax dollars paying for these pancakes and he was going to help himself to as many pancakes as he could handle.

“We’ve been staking out this pancake breakfast for weeks,” said Grainger.  “We all agreed we’d meet at oh nine hundred hours and rush in.  Usually none of us would ever wake up that early, so we just pulled an all nighter.”

Some of the officers say they are speaking with lawyers as they feel slightly violated.

“We were just there not bothering anyone,” said officer Kevin McDowell.  “One of the guys made me sit and listen to him explain the meaning behind every tattoo on his body.  I felt helpless.”

Officer McDowell managed to pull out his phone and capture a couple of the patrons filming the police eat.  He said the cops and the Cahoots customers were both yelling at each other to stop filming.

“When my dad was a cop in the 70’s, it would have been unheard of for a group of guys to rush in and interrupt your annual pancake breakfast,” said McDowell.  “One of them shouted at me that it was his declaration of independence to be in here eating pancakes.  I didn’t really fight him on it, he sounded like he knew what he was talking about.”

As the pancake breakfast came to an end, the Cahoots customers explained to the cops that they were the biggest assholes in town, and they better never forget that.

“I looked every cop in his eyes and said, ‘We’ve worked hard for years to be known as the biggest group of assholes in this town, so don’t try to be bigger dicks than us. Ever’,” said Grainger.  “I told them they were all free to leave, but if they didn’t want us crashing their next pancake breakfast, they have to promise us that they’ll leave the whole ‘shit head’ thing to the professionals at Cahoots.  I think we came to a mutual understanding.”

Frank Thompson
Germantown Times
September 2014

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22 thoughts on “CAHOOTS PATRONS CRASH POLICE PANCAKE BREAKFAST, E-CIGARETTES DRAWN

  1. Matt says:

    Ohhh God why didn’t this really happen?

    Like

    • T. Wright says:

      Weird, when I was a boy scout that breakfast was a fund raiser for the troop that met in the church. I worked it once as a teen. I don’t get how it became what ever it is now, but a hungover punk and a police officer are both people, thus should be treated with the same respect that you would like yourself to be treated with…..

      Like

  2. Janice says:

    idiots. go back to cahoots and snort your coke, or shoot up your heroin, or whatever else you do there. everyone has a job to do. don’t be mad at police for doing theirs.

    Like

    • Concerned Citizen says:

      It’s not their job to detain random people and violate their rights. We live in The USA dummy. Or did you forget that. While they were harassing a whole bar of random people someone somewhere was committing a felony. They should be fired. It’s disgraceful and quite frankly so are you.

      Liked by 1 person

    • danya gregory says:

      How do you know that these people are doing drugs? The police violated the people of this establishment, and that is why the gentlemen, did what they did, so show the police what it feels like. You must be one of those crazy people that go to church, and don’t do anything wrong. Don’t judge anyone, because they sin differently than you. Those people are there minding their own business, having fun and enjoying a few refreshments. Get a life.

      Like

    • Elizabeth says:

      ROFL, am pretty sure this story was sorta like “The Onion”. In other words it’s fake. lol, But it’s funny that you think the owners would risk losing their pub by allowing everyone to just sit around doing coke and heroin. rofl

      Like

  3. Charles says:

    Fuck you Janice I go there and not all of us do drugs you stupid bitch

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marco says:

      Yeah but all of you that do go there dress like idiots, enjoy shitty music, and follow stupid trends. If it has to happen to someone might as well be the shitheads at Cahoots.

      Like

      • Matthew Mullen says:

        actuslly you’re a complete idiot and have obviously never experienced the amount of diversity in this place. Maybe you would have if you weren’t such a close minded little prick. I dress normally and listen to Top 40 music, among other things. I go to Cahoots on Wednesday nights because they have $1.25 domestic bottles. How could anyone turn that down that likes a few beers now and then? If something like that is going to happen to someone then it should be the shit heads like you who feel the need to stereotype everyone. I bet you are the same person who likes to call people faggots, beat women, yell nigger from the safety of your car at random people, then go to Catholic Church on Sundays and repent to think everything is okay that you do. The real truth is you are a fucking hypocrite and I hope to God that any women you have sex with, get an abortion so there is never anyone to carry on your legacy of hatred, self denial, and bigotry.

        Like

  4. Was this before or after the frisking of all the customers at the bar?

    Like

  5. cahoots says:

    Janice you’re an idiot. This is obviously a funny fake story

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ralf says:

    …ooo drama.

    Like

  7. RVTPilot says:

    Janice can’t reply now as she is currently elbows deep in her brother, an LMPD officer.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. tsali says:

    I’m sad there are bigger assholes than me around now. Next time, I think I’ll crash the annual Ky Farm Bureau breakfast at the statefair and be hip about some current trend that I know the’re refusing to accept.

    Like

  9. Jimmy Corn says:

    It’s my understanding that the owner of the bar requested the police to be there and to do what they did. so all the complainers can f’off. lol

    Like

    • i'lltakethepan says:

      Then clearly, don’t read our watch the news. The owner has gone on record saying she didn’t even know they were there when they locked everyone inside her bar. Funny satire piece y’all are getting you panties in a wad about, though.

      Like

    • Elizabeth says:

      Then you understood wrong. Cahoots had no idea why they were there, and said so on the local news stations.

      Like

  10. Long Dong Mcgee says:

    Fuck Cahoots. Every time I went there, there was always some random guy wanting to suck my dick. I think its a gay bar in disguise. Not sure. I don’t have anything against gay people, it was just weird.

    Like

  11. PoPo has a lot of Anger! says:

    The PoPo doth protest too much. Jeeez, have a sense of humor. i guess the PoPo has a lot of ANGER?

    Like

  12. Jimbo says:

    Great article Frank. I can’t believe those ruffians got away with harassing our kind law abiding policemen like that.

    Like

  13. donnie drunko says:

    Cahoots sucks, it’s just a dark drug den full of confused people.

    Like

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