LIBERTARIAN MAN SAYS TODAY IS ACTUALLY THURSDAY, FRIDAY IS WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK

hank-curly

LOUISVILLE – When 32 year old libertarian, Gus Thatcher, heard a co-worker singing, “it’s Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday”, all he could do was get up from his desk and start lecturing everyone on how back in the 60’s Nixon moved the week forward a day.  Thatcher began pulling up links on his phone and pointing to Willy Wonka meme’s from his Facebook as everyone half listened and casually looked in his direction every so often.  Thatchers lecture lasted almost 30 minutes until he noticed he was the only person left in the room.

“I feel like that went pretty well,” said Thatcher.  “I mean I wished people would have hung around to the end when I started talking about Rand Paul though.  My point was, Nixon back in the 60’s, ordered everyone to turn their clocks forward 24 hours cause he was so excited about a weekend fishing trip.  It’s not in the history books, but if you get on this libertarian blog I read, It’s all there.  I guess I should’ve just simply said that to my colleagues earlier instead of explaining what it means to be a libertarian in a fascist society for 20 minutes. It’s just so hard to get people to wake up and start paying attention to memes on Facebook these days.  But hey, what can you expect from a bunch of statists with strawmans arguments that are marxists in sheep clothes though, am I right?”

After lunch Thatcher and his coworkers all sat back down at their desks as he tried turning loose conversation into a full on political debate.

“I mean that’s what Saddam did to the Kurds in the 80’s,” Thatcher shouted at a woman asking if anyone wanted some cookies.  “Saddam basically asked them if they want weapons, and of course we went in like a bunch of war hawks and gave Saddam more weapons to use on his own people.  I just can’t stand all the overspending that goes on in Washington, and we should be able to form a militia and choose if we want our kids vaccinated, Ayn Rand.  But yeah I’ll take some cookies, thanks Jenny.”

Just before the day was over Thatcher wished everyone a good weekend, but reminded everyone that in his house it’s still only Thursday.  

“It can get a little confusing, but it’s really easy,” Said Thatcher.  “We just DVR things like Saturday Night Live then watch them on what you guys call Sunday night.  Kind of like what the Koch Brothers are doing to Washington today, or what Darwin thought about biology, but we won’t get into all of that right now.  Unless you guys want to.”

Frank Thompson
Germantown Times
August 2014

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One thought on “LIBERTARIAN MAN SAYS TODAY IS ACTUALLY THURSDAY, FRIDAY IS WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK

  1. Amy jones says:

    Reminds me of thee olde Doctrine of Samuel Moody: when men know not what to do, they ought not to do they know not what.

    Like

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