OLD GUY FROM EAST END TELLS WIFE HE’S GOING TO THE NACHBAR TO GET SOME PUSSY

depressed-old-man_opt78 year old Gill Conley left his house in a hurry Thursday night after an argument with his wife, according to a neighbor. Conley and his wife were reportedly arguing about his recently purchased iPad when things took a turn for the worse.

“I was cleaning up my back deck when I heard them going at it,” said Conley’s next door neighbor Phil Markey. “Gill’s wife was yelling at him and he just started walking away mid fight. He grabbed his keys off of the picnic table and said he was going to the Nachbar to get some pussy. I’ve never seen Gill that sure of anything.”

Conley allegedly showed up to Nachbar around 8 pm last night and stood around with his hands in his pockets for an hour and a half.

“He was sipping a Bud Light and just kind of stood there by the back couch,” said Nachbar customer Jenny Williams. “He asked me if I’d ever been to Cheddars, but I just rolled my eyes and kept walking.”

Conley was seen walking into the girls bathroom accidentally as he rushed back out looking quite embarrassed. “He apologized to a few of the girls standing outside by the handsink,” recalls bartender Guss Boyd. “As the girls were walking away I heard him ask if any of them liked Jason Mraz.”

Moments later, Conley overheard a few of the girls from the restroom situation asking Rusty the jerky guy if he wanted to have his way with all of them after his shift.

“Yeah these girls were telling Rusty he could basically put it anywhere he wants,” said Boyd. “The old man looked pretty upset and told the girls he could buy all of the jerky in Rusty’s basket if he felt like it, which he did.  I think he was trying to prove a point.”

Conley was reportedly seen sitting in his car for about 30 minutes just staring at the steering wheel before he left.

“He was just like sitting in his car without the engine running,” said a girl chaining up her bike outside. “I think he was actually crying as he ran his hand slowly through his hair. I think he said ‘what happened’ or something. It was hilarious.”

Conley was spotted pulling back into his driveway by himself around 10 pm.

Frank Thompson
Germantown Times
July 2014

 

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One thought on “OLD GUY FROM EAST END TELLS WIFE HE’S GOING TO THE NACHBAR TO GET SOME PUSSY

  1. Jason says:

    Missing cat… answer’s to the name “One Time”, last seen near Nachbar.

    Like

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