GROUCHO’S CUSTOMERS CLAIM WHITE GUY JUST WALKED IN AND SANG THAT REGULATERS SONG

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After midnight there’s no telling what will happen if you’re out roaming through Germantown bars.  Last weekend customers at Grouchos Karaoke Bar all claim to have witnessed the same ordeal.

“I was just sitting there looking at my phone like I always do,” said Grouchos regular Donny Moopin.  “All of a sudden this white guy in his early twenties comes in with one of those “how to pronounce Louisville” t-shirts on, gets up on stage, and sings Regulate by Nate Dogg and Warren G.  His flow was way slow and crazy manageable, just like the original song.”

Moopin then checked his phone as if he were trying to remember some other details of the evening, adding, “Plus he seamlessly flowed to and from the ‘long beach staccato’ of Warren G to the ‘west coast Eugene Levy’ of Nate Dogg. My friends and I all looked at each other at the same time saying, is this really happening?”

The song lasted only 3 minutes, but witnesses agreed that they wished it was more like 4 or even 4 and half minutes, as they sort of couldn’t get enough.

A group of white girls with crudely hand drawn penises on them, celebrating a bachelorette party, were all very impressed.

“I’ve been into hip hop music for almost 7 years and I’ve never seen someone adventurous enough to try out that song,” said one of the white girls, in between yelling “EASTSIIIIDE MOOTEEEEEEEEEEEEL” over and over again.  “I literally died when he did the songs’ signature spoken part in the beginning.  It’s super obscure, and I feel like you have to be literally dope to pull it off like that guy did. Plus then there at the end when he changed ‘213’ to ‘502 will regulate’, I mean like Jessica, she like literally lost her shit.”

The owner of Grouchos says the same mysterious man comes in semi regularly, but he usually just orders a Stella Artois and eats mozzarella sticks all night.

“I didn’t even know if I had the song in my system,” said Groucho.  “It was way dope and sick.  I’ve never seen a white guy in khaki shorts so sure of anything in my entire life.”

As of press time, Jessica says she’s not sure, but she may try the song with all of her girlfriends next weekend if someone else signs up for Love Shack.

Frank Thompson
Germantown Times
July 2014

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