Frank and I have been shopping at Goss Avenue Kroger since it was built in the 80’s. We’ve seen a lot of things come and go over the years. A lot of younger people don’t remember, but the almost 30 year old Kroger used to rent appliances and sell things like swords and hamsters. The new GM at Goss Kroger, Bill Jacobs, is hoping to bring back some of the old excitement to the aging store.
“I mean who really needs all this produce?” says Jacobs as we stroll through the store. “Like, see this? Why the hell do we sell coconuts in Germantown? What is this Gilligans Island Kroger?”
Jacobs led me through the produce section simultaneously chewing out some of the the workers for stocking things he described as “rookie-duce”. “How many types of tomatoes do we need Jeff? A roma tomato? What are we all the sudden living in Italytown?”
Once you really start to listen to Jim’s logic, it starts to kind of make sense. He wants to cut the produce section in half and add a VHS rental wall for customers.
“The redbox outside is killin it, but the selection is absolute crap. You’re not gonna find movies like Hellraiser or Porky’s on redbox, but you will when our VHS section opens up.”
Jacobs says he hopes to expand the VHS section if it takes off like he thinks it will and plans on renting VCR’s for $20 a week.
I asked Jacobs if he thought some people in the neighborhood would be upset about losing some of their favorite fruits and veggies.
“Are you kiddin’ me?” Jacobs says as he’s holding up an artichoke. “I mean, this thing looks like something Goldie Hawn ate in that movie Overboard. Before she went overboard.”
The renovations are set to start this fall after Jacobs makes his case at Kroger’s corporate headquarters.