Chris Phillips, Marty Gifford, Rickey Dwyer, and Ben Fletcher have been friends since the late 90’s when they met in High School. The four pals are now in their mid 30’s, and spend most nights sitting around drinking together on each others’ front porches in Germantown.
“We all grew up here,” said Fletcher, “I love these guys. For fifteen years, Gifford’s been doing this thing where he lights his farts after he drinks a bunch of Oberon. It’s awesome.”
Even though the group of old friends have been hanging out for over a decade, they say their wives suggested they try something different; hang out sober next Tuesday.
“I’m super nervous,” said Marty, “I mean, what are we gonna talk about?”
The four plan to break up into pairs and spend some time getting to know each other.
“We all thought we’d take it slow,” said Phillips. “It’ll be like speed dating, but without wine or beer or anything fun like that,” he said.
The boys all agree that it’ll be good for them, and that the night will be a true test of their friendship. Marty however, has low expectations. He said the boys were at a dry wedding two summers ago and didn’t say a word to each other all night.
“I’m not gonna back out,” said Marty, “But there’s no way this is gonna work. I hung out with my parents for 16 years sober and it was awful.”
The boys’ wives are all making them little lists they can conceal in their pockets with suggested topics of fun things to talk about.
Dwyer added, “It’s not ‘til next Tuesday, so I plan on drinking a shit ton through the whole weekend, and on into Monday night. Hopefully by Tuesday my body won’t be able to take anymore, and it can be my natural dry-out-day for the week.”
The boys are set to hang out next Tuesday around 7pm at Gifford’s house.